New contest: Almost every day I find myself thinking, “Ugh, what should I write about to amuse these people???” So now, you get to leave a comment on what you want me to talk about. Because if I don’t get ideas I’m going to end up talking about all the teachers and classmates I didn’t like, and that would really not be good. None of them know about this blog.
Once I had this student teacher who I couldn’t stand. Have you heard how they say that the worst students make the best teachers? You know, the loud, attention-seeking students are the kind of people who make the best teachers.
I doubt that she was one of the worst students. I’m guessing she was one of the quiet, well-behaved students who sat calmly but was really formulating insane theories about everyone else. So basically she was me. Side note: I blame all my problems on public school, just so you know.
Anyway, she was a horrible student teacher. Also she didn’t like me. I have a feeling those two things are connected.
I just had a theory: Because she was unpopular when she was in school she was, as a figure of authority, being all nice and chatty with the popular girls. She once told my friend that she couldn’t clean the overhead projector (yes, that was a fun thing to do) because it was so-and-so’s job. Then when one of the popular girls who I still don’t like asked to clean the overhead projector (it really was fun) she seemed to forget that it was so-and-so’s job.
This student teacher was the reason I refused to wear flats for over a year. You see, she only wore ballet flats. Even when we had two feet of snow, there she would be with yet another pair of ballet flats. She has so many pairs. I can only remember two different pairs that she wore on more than one occasion. It was slightly freaky.
She really didn’t like me, and I was the perfect student that all the teachers liked. I can only
imagine formulate theories on what could have happened in her childhood to make her not like the perfectly well-behaved unpopular students…
Once when we were building structures out of paper clips and straws for science and someone else kept taking all my paper clips she told me that I mush share. She also made me sit across from the most annoying loud person ever. And when I told her politely that I couldn’t concentrate because he would not shut up (I was more polite than that, don’t worry) she told me to ignore it. I seem to recall what happened when one of the annoying popular girls didn’t want to sit next to someone who couldn’t keep his stupid mouth shut for more time than it took to…Okay I can’t think of something to put there.
Oh my god I just remembered something…it was so funny. Okay, so we were doing this unit on plants in science. (Note: plants are boring.) To make it more interesting, my group named the plants. I had this one plant that was really weird-looking. When a plant grows it gets two baby leaves that are supposed to fall off after a couple of days, but my little plant only lost one of its baby leaves. The other one grew really big. The plant looked nothing like it was supposed to.
Anyway, I named it “mutate-o.” It really sort of named itself. Well, one day she comes over and comments on how weird the plant looks. So, after not thinking, I look directly into her eyes and say, “It’s mutate-0.” She is speechless and me and my science group are laughing so hard we’re crying. It was so funny. And she didn’t talk to me for the rest of the year. I owe a lot to that weird little plant.
I’m not writing this because, um, think of a reason, I’m writing this because I want to remember it always. Oh, Ms. I-Don’t-Remember-Your-First-Name and I-Won’t-Put-Your-Last-Name-On-The-Internet, we annoyed the crap out of each other but I still have the memory of your speechless face as I was laughing. She really hated laughing. If someone was laughing and she didn’t know the reason she would just stare at them with her eyebrows knitted until they stopped laughing. The problem was that it made most people laugh harder. Oh well. :)
She even wanted to read aloud to everyone the good-bye cards that we had to make for her when she left. That was a bad idea because when you make goodbye cards for someone you’ll probably never see again you write stuff like, “I liked it when you did spelling with us; it was always chaos.” And then you wish them luck in all their future endeavors. I said the future endeavors line to a lot of people.
Anyway, you now have an insight into what my elementary school was like. I hope you enjoyed it. :)