A 10 Minute Walk in the Cold

This is what happens on an average 10 minute walk in the cold.

First, you rush out of the house. You rush out of the house because you don’t want to be late. You forget that there is no chance you will be late because you are always three minutes early.

When you first get outside, you will think, it isn’t really that cold!

Then you will walk. During this walk you will get steadily colder. Now is about the time you start wishing you had thought to bring some gloves.

Once you have crossed the street, you will check the time. You will realize that you are very early. So now it is your obligation to take two steps on every sidewalk square, as to make you go slower.

Then you will wonder (for the 534,235,554,479,239,026*th time) if the street sign that corresponds to the street runs parallel or perpendicular to the street. This is a tedious matter, however. and quite boring.

After this you will stop caring if you are early. In an effort to keep warm, you will put your hands up to your face and blow into them in such a way that it makes your glasses fog up completely. (When spelling “completely” you will wonder why spell check hates you so much.) This is a way to simulate what it must have felt like in a dust storm. And I think it probably confuses people driving past you, but I wouldn’t know, because my glasses are all fogged up.

Then, just as the cold really gets to you, you will arrive at your destination. Congratulations. Remember, you do have to go back…



That’s quadrillions, by the way.


4 thoughts on “A 10 Minute Walk in the Cold

  1. After December first my rule is hat, gloves or mittens, scarf & boots.plus plastic, or no metal framed sun glasses. If you are too warm you discard as you go.

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