Things I would Never Give my (future) Child for Gifts

1) Legos. I HATE legos. They are like little blocks from hell. Have you ever stepped on a lego? It is pain beyond imagining. Lord Voldemort should stock up on legos. And you have to sort through the entire box for one tiny little logo block. By the time you’ve found that one tiny little lego block you are tired of legos all together.


2) Zhu Zhu Pets. Have you ever heard of little hamster things that ring like bells, hiss, rattle, jingle, and squeal. They are SO ANNOYING! And now tests have shown that they (Num Num and Mr. Squiggles especially)  has dangerously high amounts of heavy metals in his nose. The government covered this up because Zhu Zhu pets were the top-selling toy of the year.


3) Plastic doorbells. What child needs a doorbell for their room?!?! And the kind you leave a message on? Um, shouldn’t the parents know where said child is without having to listen to a recorded message on a hideous plastic blob on their door?

doorbell 1

4) Fake scissors. I have a problem with fake scissors. I really have no idea why I hate them so much. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I am always looking for scissors, and then I see a pair of fake scissors. And then I think it’s a pair of real scissors. Rejoice!-until I realize that they are fake scissors.

pretend scissors

5) Any craft kit that requires following numbers to achieve…the same thing that is on the box. It’s a pain to convince child that they really don’t have to follow the numbers. But it’s also a pain it tell them exactly where to put each piece to achieve…the same thing that is on the box. And no, child apparently can’t seem to follow these kits by themselves.

paint by #s

So…If I have children, please do not buy them anything that is on this list.






3 thoughts on “Things I would Never Give my (future) Child for Gifts

  1. Things I have stepped on and regretted:

    “Cherrio mines”–these are stray cherrios on the floor and when you step on one of them–CRUNCH!–now it is in very tiny little pieces

    And once when I was a teenager I walked outside in spring in the dark with bare feet and I stepped on a slug! Smushed it right between my toes! Gross!

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