Pumpkin carving is, of course, a Halloween tradition. But there is something I absolutely cannot stand about it.
Not the goop, not the pumpkin, not the stupid flimsy little carving knives, not the designs.
THE SMELL. Pumpkins, when they are cut open, smell. They are, like the only vegetable that smells rotten when they are still fresh.
Every year I get all excited about carving pumpkins. I get the newspaper, I get the flimsy knife and the bowl and the spoon and the marker. Then I draw on the face. Then I abandon the stupid flimsy knife for a real knife. Then I cut the top off the pumpkin.
Then the rotten smell flows through the air and I wonder, “why the hell am I doing this?”
This year I’m prepared. Yep, I’ve got one of these.
What do you think of my pumpkin carving design?