Here’s a helpful list of things not to do if you ever happen to become my orchestra director.
1. Do not make everyone practice putting up an instrument five times in a row. Please, after the second time nobody tries anymore.
2. Do not say, “I’ll give you a pencil,” and then a minute later say, “but I want it back.” That is not very nice.
3. Do not switch me back and forth between inside and outside seats. It’s very annoying to have to learn alternate fingerings just in case you decide to change my seat again.
4. Do not make everyone write all over their music. You do not need every person to do the exact same sticato on one note.
5. Do not spend the entire one hour and twenty minutes on six lines of one song. That’s less than half the some. There are six songs in all.
6. Do not say, after spending the entire hour and twenty minutes on one song, say, “wow, the time really flew!” No. That is not okay. Really. The time might have flown to you, but it definitely do not fly to anyone else.
You’re a very nice person, really. I promise. Truly.